United 93 -- The Nightmare, The Heroes, The Movie

I knew I had to see "United 93." I was living and working in New York City when our country's soul got punched in the gut on 9/11. (No year is necessary -- we all know.) Despite living in the West all but the last 18 years of my life and considering myself a blood-deep Westerner, on 9/11 and in the three or so months following, my bond with "the City" got permanently deeper and stronger. We all felt the same grim connection with Washington, D.C. -- a good friend of mine worked in the Pentagon at the time and had run out into the parking lot when the plane hit -- and with Pennsylvania.

Knowing what "United 93" was, I had to go when I was in a quiet, strong and centered enough mood to handle it. Today, I decided, was the day. Well, technically yesterday, since it's after midnight. No "DaVinci Code" or "X-Men" for me. The film has left a few more theaters each week since its release, replaced by the real or hoped-for blockbusters du jour. I had to drive 30 miles to see it the one time today that the theater showed it, 9:00 p.m.

I got there early and when I entered the room, theater 14, it was empty. I chose a prime seat in the center and sat quietly. I felt like I was waiting for a funeral to begin.

The room started to fill and I was surprised at how many young couples came. I wouldn't think of "United 93" as much of a date movie. Everyone was quiet, almost reverent, until a pack of about a dozen youngsters came. Well, older teens or younger 20's ages. They were laughing and teasing and boistrous. One girl in particular had an especially annoying nervous giggle, which seemed incessant. I found myself tensing up and wanted to stand, turn around and yell, "Shut the fuck up! Don't you know what kind of movie this is going to be?!" But I didn't. I just sat tensely, very irritated. They carried on throughout the previews and I was getting pissed. But then "United 93" started, and to their credit, I never heard another peep out of them.

The movie affected everyone in the theater, certainly including me. I sat there with my body tense and wanting to back away, just like I feel in the dentist's chair, and I kept having to tell myself to relax, just like I do in the dentist's chair, and it didn't help, just like it doesn't in the dentist's chair.

Sniffles could be heard as soon as the real-life television footage of the second plane hitting the north tower (or was it the south?) came on as the air traffic controllers in the movie watched, frozen with their mouths open in disbelief. It's controversial whether real footage of that horrific event should have been used in a commercial movie, but this felt very much like a sensitive depiction of what happened that day and the real footage seemed totally appropriate to me. Since I'd been watching the Today show that morning on the NBC station in Manhattan when local broadcaster Jane Hansen broke in with the news, I saw that second plane hit "live" and when it came on in the movie, my heart pounded, my breath drew in and my eyes let go of the tears I didn't know were there. Not one soul in the theater moved a muscle.

I'd heard that "United 93" wasn't exploitative, and I agree. Writer/director Paul Greengrass' understated tone made it much more dramatic for real than movies that try to make the drama more dramatic with over-the-top dialog or hit-you-over-the-head music. The people on the plane in the movie were the people who were on the real fated plane, played by professional but not particularly recognizable actors (which would have been too distracting -- good move!) and they were wearing approximately what the real people were wearing and doing approximately what the real people did as far as they could determine after speaking with surviving family members. That is admirable and will make this movie endure and be meaningful for a long time.

It surprised me that so much of the movie centered on the air traffic controllers in several states and the military, what they knew when, how they found out, how confusing it all was with little or conflicting information and what they tried to do about it. It made for a much more interesting and palatable film rather than staying in the plane the whole time. In the credits (which people actually stayed for afterward), several of those air and military officials played themselves -- very impressive.

The terrorists in the movie were depicted not exactly sympathetically but relatively humanely, especially the leader. This very serious man was shown praying and calling someone to say he loved them just before he boarded the plane. He was clearly following his convictions, as have hundreds of instigators and leaders of brutal wars for centuries.

We all know how it ends so I won't give anything away by saying that the movie goes to black before the plane slams into the ground. The words across the screen afterward tell some interesting facts, the saddest being that the military folks responsible for sending the fighter jets to intercept the planes didn't find out that United's flight 93 had been hijacked until four minutes after it crashed. My God.

I cried what Oprah Winfrey calls the ugly cry for several minutes. Not a sob or a weep but a silent, streaming-tears cry. And I wasn't alone. I think that's why so many people stayed to watch the credits, because they didn't want to walk out yet. It was a disturbing film, difficult to watch but riveting and fascinating. I watched most of it with my gut churning. But I'm glad I saw it and if you're brave enough, I recommend that you go see it too.