Why I Love Facebook

I get to see what a bunch of positive, fun folks are up to.
I get to "like" a whole bunch of people, projects, companies, comments and fun stuff.
I get to empathize when people are going through tough stuff.
I get instant support when I need it.
I get to laugh a lot.
I get to keep up with dear friends, pals and colleagues that I ordinarily wouldn't be in touch with very often.
I get to share my good and bad news and stuff that makes me laugh with people, some of whom appreciate it. :-)
I get to get in on discussions, some of which are dumb and fun, some of which tackle serious issues.
I get news that I might not get elsewhere or I get it first there.
I get GREAT comments from people I know and, often, their friends.
I get to see lots of pictures of my friends and their families and friends.
I get to keep up with people when they live in other countries.
I get to participate and play in private groups of people from several of my diverse worlds.
I get to learn from people like Mark David Gerson and Larry Broughton and Dr. Wayne W. Dyer and Craig Duswalt and Brendon Burchard.
I get to read and comment on blogs by Lawrence Block and Danny Davis and Jane Fonda and Sue Grafton. Some of them respond right away, which only increases my love for and loyalty to them.
I get to tell people I love them even if I don't use those exact words.
All of the above = Priceless!

Living Alone? You're Not Alone!

On today's CBS Sunday Morning, a segment aired on the phenomenon of 32.7 million Americans who are now living alone, up from just 4 million in 1950. New York University sociologist Eric Klinenberg called it "the greatest social change of the last 60 years that we have failed to name or identify."

Journalist Susan Spencer (from 48 Hours) anchored the piece, which ran about six and a half minutes. It started out with Greta Garbo in the 1932 movie Grand Hotel exclaiming, "I want to be alone. I just want to be alone." Spencer cites statistics: Of the nearly 33 million loners, nearly half (48.3%) are between ages 35 and 64, and a third (34.5%) are 65 and over. Women outnumber men 17.2 million to 13.9 million. Women do pretty well living alone, says Klinenberg, "...whereas for men, it's much more likely that they'll wind up feeling lonely or unhappy or isolated." (I can almost hear the women out there rolling their eyes and saying, "Oh yeah, big surprise.)

Well, I am one of the roughly one in seven Americans who live alone. And I love it!

One man in the piece does not love it. "There's nothing worse than being sick by yourself," lamented 40-year-old New Yorker Jeff Ragsdale. "You're lying in bed watching the world go by and wondering, you know, how did I get so alone." He actually put up flyers with his phone number on it inviting people to call "Jeff, one lonely guy." He claims to have received "close to 70,000" calls from all around the world. Must be fascinating, talking to all of those people. (Much as I love peeling the onion with people to uncover what's underneath, after a short time that would have me running around in small circles, wildly waving my arms and screaming.) And, how is he making money since that's virtually a full-time job? Well, he's writing a book, so there you have it.

I live in an age-55-plus active adult apartment building, and I'd guess that between one third and one half of the residents here live alone. Not surprising. What did surprise me were stats that roughly 40% of households in San Francisco, Seattle, Denver and Cleveland are made up of just one person. And in Manhattan, single-person households comprise nearly half of all households. Wow! I lived in Manhattan for 12 years, worked there for 16, and that even surprised me.

So what's so great about living alone? Klinenberg calls single household occupants "indispensable" because "they go out in the world like no one else does." Yep. I go to many places by myself that many people would be embarrassed or reticent to tackle alone. Restaurants. Movies. Concerts. Trips (I pay extra for my own hotel room or ship cabin, even when I'm traveling with a group.) Gatherings of all kinds where couples are the predominant attendees. No problem. I just take a book or my Kindle with me when appropriate (and sometimes when it isn't) and I'm good.

It does drive me a little nuts when the host/hostess at a restaurant greets me with "Just one?" But I also regluarly hear that when it is "Just two?" Sometimes, it's also "Just three?" and even, believe it or not, "Just four?" I think it's a rude question no matter what.

I know I'm not "normal," loving living alone. I revel in my independence. I've always lived near all of the highways, airports and train stations that can get me away. I delight in making my own decisions, deciding my own schedules, knowing that I alone am responsible for so many things. I love being able to do what I want whenever I want, including making the big life-changing decisions. I can change my life completely in 30 days if I choose to, with no one else to have to convince, argue with or betray. I don't have to ask anyone if I can do something, deceive or lie to anyone about what I spend, or work around their schedules on a regular basis. I never have to compromise unless I want to. I am a free spirit and I can live that way!

Children are another subject entirely, one I'm not going to tackle here. I have no children living at home, or anywhere else for that matter. I have a grown step-daughter but we haven't lived together for decades.

Yes, sometimes I envy some of my friends who have a man to take care of them, financially support them and fix things around the house. But I also have friends who are the main (if not the sole) breadwinner, who are the ones to fix things and who have to take care of their ailing or just grumpy husband. I like my life and I hope they like theirs. I just know that if we all threw our troubles into a pile, I don't know about them but I'd fight anyone to retrieve my own.

Meanwhile, I get to decide for myself how I want to spend my Sunday. The possibilities are endless....

Keeping It Off Ain't So Easy

Two months ago, I'd lost 50 pounds since October 2011. Best thing I've done for myself in years! The Beta HCG Diet works well for me -- I lost 25 pounds in Round 1 and another 25 pounds in Round 2. (See previous posts.) Keeping the first 25 off was easy-peasy. I ate what I wanted and kept off the pounds, including after some of my not-so-great, late-night sugar pig-outs (or at least piglet-outs). The second 25 are lurking like the monster in the closet, watching and waiting for me to fall backward, deep into the pit of my bad habits.

I'm a carb-aholic. If sugar is one of the first ingredients, I'm in! Maybe food-aholic is a better term. I've been known to keep snarfing down at one time more, uh, fill in the blank: cookies, ice cream, popcorn, cereal, french fries, fried chicken, pasta...than would be normal for any three meals. I learned early on after losing my second 25 pounds that I can't do that anymore. The penalties are swift and severe. I gained back 9 pounds.

The cardinal rule in the Beta HCG Diet (and many diets, probably) is to weigh yourself every morning at the same time and address the weight gain immediately after gaining two pounds. I didn't do that for about a week and I ate like a human vacuum cleaner. So I blew it. And then I got scared. I just cannot and will not go back to the morbidly obese, miserable person who needed a crane to lift her up off of the couch. But what to do?

Along came ViSalus. A good friend called me and sold me on the idea of going with supposedly delicious, nutritious shakes as meal substitutes. I've not found shakes to be particularly flavorful or satisfying in the past (other than Atkins shakes, which I used to have for breakfast, which I liked a lot but that was years ago), so I was skeptical. But he's a persuasive guy so I said yes. I not only said yes to trying them but also to getting into the business, which is "network marketing," aka multi-level marketing, which I've never been fond of. But I did it and waited for my shakes to arrive.

A few days later, my starter box arrived and I couldn't wait to try the shakes that supposedly taste like cake mix. They actually are good! Very good, in fact. They don't have that grainy texture - they're smooth and creamy and yummy. And I find that the shakes keep me unhungry for four or five hours most of the time, though I still have to fight my I'm-deprived mindset that most addicts have. Yes, I am an addict. A carb addict. Adding fruit (bananas, blueberries, strawberries, etc.) or other flavors (lots of recipes online) helps that mindset and gives me the variety that keeps me engaged.

So far I'm very sloppy when it comes to discipline in having the shakes every day. I had one for lunch today and one for lunch yesterday but it was a few days for the one before that. But regardless of my haphazard program, I've lost 5 of the 9 pounds I'd gained back. Yahoo!

I checked with my holistic M.D., Dr. Pieter DeWet, and he endorses the shakes (and just got into the business end of it himself, even). So I will use the ViSalus shakes to lose the last 4 pounds I've recently gained back, and then I want to go back on Beta HCG in July to lose the next 20 or 25 pounds. That takes about 6 weeks total. I'm quite excited that he said he thinks we can use the ViSalus shakes as meal replacements while taking the HCG, at least some of the time. It'll take some of the brutality out of the HCG regime.

Then I want to go back on the ViSalus shakes once a day to maintain the weight loss. Everyone does things differently and good for them. I think this will work for me. Ironically, to actually lose the weight, it's easier for me to go on the very drastic Beta HCG Diet than it is to go the shakes-and-moderation route. I just don't do "moderation" well at all. But I think I can be less piggy with the shakes, as long as I weigh myself every day and don't let myself gain back more than 2 pounds. (A friend who tried the shake today and liked it also intends to have the shakes for maintenance, which is great since she only wants to lose about 5 pounds. Ah, envy!)

All programs suggest - strongly suggest - combining exercise with eating healthful food. Ooooh, I've avoided that like I'd get sick if I went that route. But tomorrow I'm going to meet a friend at a gym who will help me figure out a regime of cardio and strength training and then it will be up to me to stick with it. Wish me luck!

Changing my lazy, piggy habits is harder than anything I've done in a long time. Years. Decades. But I don't want to end up dead or debilitated after a stroke or heart attack, so exercise and eating better are mandatory at this point. (You can just hear my enthusiasm, can't you?)

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I just have to get my focus off of myself and on to something productive or on doing something good for someone else and this hunger/addiction/resistance stuff will diminish. And I have to...just start! So now it's nearly 1:00 a.m. and I have to get up at 7:00 to get to the gym, so here I go. Stay tuned.

P.S. I am not the pushy type or the hustling type and I don't do cheerleader-level enthusiasm convincingly. But if you'd like to try the ViSalus shakes and look into the ViSalus 90-Day Challenge, let me know or click here. Hey, why not?!

Beta HCG Diet - How I Got Through 2 Rounds and Lost 50 Pounds

Today is my last day of Round 2 of the Beta HCG diet. It's been a long haul. Since January 25, I've had 500 calories a day. That's 41 days, 41 days of living on this twice a day: 3.5 precooked ounces of protein (limited list), 1 vegetable (limited list), 1 fruit (strawberries, orange, apple or grapefruit), 1 piece of melba toast. And no oil ingested or applied to skin. And, most importantly, an application of Beta HCG cream on my body six days a week. Pretty sparse. Between mid-October and early December, I did the same thing. Each time, I lost 25 pounds for a total of 50.

How did I do it?

I have proven to myself over and over that I can't do "moderation." I am much better at "black and white." Yes or no. I can have it or I can't. The Beta HCG Diet is an extremely structured diet. Very strict guidelines of what I can eat and how much of it. And it has a finite number of days that it goes on. It's all quite black and white. They say we can do anything for a day. There were times that I needed that one-day-at-a-time mentality, or, more accurately, one bite at a time, to get through these 41 days. Many times I chewed food I didn't want, often with a grimace. Just a few more bites, I'd tell myself.

I had the support of friends and the crucial guidance and supervision of a doctor who specializes in holistic medicine, Dr. Pieter DeWet at the Quantum Healing Institute in Tyler, Texas. I found Dr. D through someone who lost some 70 pounds on the program, and I saw the startling difference in him "before" and "after." The timing was right for me to be receptive and interested, which later turned into being locked in and committed. Fortunately, I had no negative effects from the HCG cream or the diet itself.

Once I started the diet, having devoured the entire manuscript by Dr. Simeons, who developed the Beta HCG Diet, I was scared to death to go off of it or deviate from the strict limitations. I didn't want to undo all of the good I was doing, I didn't want to go back to my old, unhealthy way of eating, and I didn't want to keep carrying around a lot of excess weight.

This is a tough diet. I can't emphasize that enough. You have to REALLY WANT IT to stay on it for 41 days in a row with no break whatsoever. I REALLY wanted the results, and I somehow made it through -- twice. (Before you criticize the diet, as I initially did myself, please read Dr. Simeons' manuscript so you understand the background and logic behind it.)

At this point, on my 41st day, today, I am so ready to be released from the limitations of 500 calories and eight small, small items of food each day. It's been a mental challenge, not a physical one. The HCG kept my body from getting hungry. Truly. But I'm so glad I did it.

I've lost 50 pounds on these two rounds of the diet, 25 on Round 1 and 25 on Round 2. The second 25 pounds are the ones that made the huge difference in how I look, how I feel and what I can wear. I lost the weight in the right places, i.e., all over. I feel so much better now. I can get up from a chair much more easily. I can tie my shoes and put on socks without struggling for breath. I look better, more "normal," less morbidly obese. My doctor says that to get where I want to be weightwise, I should go on two more rounds of the diet. I would love to drop another 50 pounds and be truly "normal." We'll see. I want to get through this round fully first.

My work, actually, is just beginning if I am to maintain the loss I've achieved. For the next three weeks, I can eat what I want except for sugars, starches and grains. Then I can add pretty much anything into my diet, because my weight will be "locked in" to a new set point, meaning my weight will want to stay there even if I overeat sometimes. However, I have to be vigilant. I have to weigh myself every day and take immediate action if I gain more than two pounds. I gained zero pounds between Round 1 and Round 2 and I truly did eat what I wanted. But I am going for health, not just weight, so I want to focus on that.

I can just say that I am thrilled to be able to live in a body that feels so much more normal and more like "me" than I have in many years. I'll let you know how I do. Stay tuned.

Beta HCG Diet - Down 2 Sizes!

Yesterday I went to lunch with a friend who's a fashionista. She informed me that my jeans were so loose that they made grandma jeans look stylish. Baggy and saggy, they just won't do.

I still have a week left on Round 2 of this Beta HCG diet, but I'd think that would only make a handful of pounds difference at the most. So I bit the bullet and hiked over to Nordstrom to the Not Your Daughter's Jeans section. Love them. Live in them.

Took both one size down and two sizes down into my dressing room and, ever the optimist, tried on the two-sizes-down ones first. They fit! OMG! I was so excited! I even showed the sales gal and asked her if they looked okay just to make sure. They look great, she enthused. So I bought the jeans in blue and black.

So...just a little over a week left in this round, and then for the next three weeks I can eat what I want except for sugars, starches and grains. Ooooooh, I'll be able to eat eggs again. And cheese. And a whole portion of meat, fish, chicken, etc., instead of having to stop at 3.5 oz. precooked. I'll be able to mix vegetables and have them sauteed or smothered in cheese sauce. Oh, bliss!

I'm most looking forward to making omelettes again. Lovely, fluffy cheese omelettes. I got quite good at making them between Rounds 1 and 2 of this diet. I actually have been waking up fantasizing about being able to eat them again. Hey, I'm a cheap fantasizer. No Dom Perignon fantasies for me.

This round has been easier than Round 1. I felt good the whole time, never felt weak like I did the first time around. I had the whole drill down pat. My hands got scarily chapped -- since I couldn't use any hand cream with oils in them -- and my doctor recommended "by Valenti" products. I ordered "organic body butters" in almonds & coconut and cacao & vanilla. Love them both! And my knuckles aren't bleeding anymore. The body butters are greasy, literally like butter, though it's not really grease -- it's just shiny -- and after it's soaked in a bit, I wipe the excess off.

So now I've lost 49 pounds since October. I'll surpass 50 for sure by next week. Awesome!

I feel soooooo much better with those pounds gone. I last weighed this 15 years ago.

Of course, I want to look like I did 15 years ago. But nature has seen fit to drop some things lower that were higher then, which is a bit discouraging. And my stomach is still muffin-y. I haven't really been able to (or been willing to) exercise while on this very restrictive diet. But once it's over, I'll get back to it and hopefully getting some fitness back will get some of that toned look back.

People are asking me if/when I'm going back on the diet. My response is, who knows? I am taking things one step at a time. I didn't know I could do a Round 2 until the last couple of weeks of Round 1 (6 weeks long). This time I have to wait more weeks before starting another round, and I can't imagine doing this in the summer, so we'll see. I want my body to get used to the 50-pound loss before going further. Fifty pounds is a lot!

I'm thrilled. I'm not done yet but for the moment, I'm just getting through one more week, adhering STRICTLY to the post-HCG plan to lock in my new "set point," the weight my body wants to stay at kind of by default, and loving not only my new smaller-size jeans but also some clothes I love (timeless ones) that I can finally wear again. La de da! Stay tuned.

Beta HCG Diet - The Deprivation Pity Party

I've just passed the midpoint of this brutal Beta HCG diet. You have to really want this to go through it, I tell you. And I do.

But...today I had a deprivation pity party most of the day. I was physically hungry, which doesn't happen very often. I was hungry Sunday also, but I was at a surprise birthday party for a good friend where there was tons of luscious food, all the more luscious because I couldn't have it. I brought my own orange, shrimp and melba toast, and it's a good thing because nearly everything on the long buffet table was drowned in something wonderful that I couldn't have. Then the next day I was totally disinterested in food all day and had to force myself to eat.

This is a strange diet. Or, I have a strange body. Or both.

At Costco when I went to buy lump crab a week and a half ago, I bought a red net bag full of 28 mini Babybel cheeses, which I love and can only get in small red nets that hold 6 at my local Giant grocery store. In fact, I bought two of the big nets, because I want them there when I can eat them and they last a long time. Every time I open the fridge, they call my name clearly, sweetly and loudly. I simply can't WAIT to be able to eat cheese again, and eggs, and more than one vegetable at a time -- with butter or some kind of sauce. But I will wait.

I'm sure this self pity is compounded by the fact that I haven't lost a pound since last Friday. I've done everything right that whole time. Grrrr. I lost 15 pounds the first two and a half weeks, which was astonishing. I could practically feel the pounds melting away. So maybe being stuck for a week is just my body adjusting. If it goes on much longer, though, I'll...I'll what? I'll call my doctor who is an HCG expert and ask him what to do. But I have faith that tomorrow or the next day I'll be back on my downward slide.

I take heart by wearing clothes I bought a long time ago "because I planned on losing weight." Ha! Some are brand new with tags. They never looked good on me but they fit just dandy now.

This is just a little emotional temper tantrum and, like a three-year-old, just leave me alone and I'll get over it.

Stay tuned.

Beta HCG Diet - 2-1/2 Weeks into Round 2

Round 2 of the Beta HCG Diet for me is a whole 'nuther animal compared to Round 1. So far...all good!

The first few days on Round 1 I felt lightheaded and on the edge of nauseous. On Round 2, I had one day of pretty severe lightheadedness, to the extent that I called my doctor, Pieter DeWet at the Quantum Healing Institute, and together we figured out that I needed to stop taking my blood pressure medicine. I've felt fine ever since.

In Round 1 my HCG came from a homeopathic spray, which is not a prescription. That was necessary because I hadn't yet seen Dr. DeWet in person. I went to him in December and spent a day at his clinic and had a bunch of blood and other tests, so at that point he could prescribe the cream for me for the second round. Whether it's that the cream works so much better or I'm just in a better frame of mind and body this time around, Round 2 is so much easier for me than Round 1 was. For one thing, I know what to do, what to expect and how to do the diet. I also found some HCG-compliant recipes that make all the difference, especially one of the salad dressings. I really, really don't like a lot of the (not that many) vegetables I can eat and anything that helps in that area is good with me.

The results so far have been stunning. In two and a half weeks, I've lost 15 pounds. And that's on top of 25 I lost in the first round. Amazing. I'm fitting into clothes that either I couldn't wear before or they looked awful on me. I feel good since I'm free of the sugar and junk that was in my system. I don't feel weak and tired like I did during Round 1. And, I'm just now, after losing 40 pounds, starting to see a semblance of my "old" face coming back, the one that wasn't all fat all the time.

I have little interest in food much of the time. I forget to eat. I always wondered what that would be like. It used to happen once or twice a year but this is frequent. What a novel concept: eating to live, not living to eat. I doubt that I'll be "reformed" like that very much longer once I end the HCG, but it's refreshing for the moment.

My hands are so dry during the winter dryness and after washing them frequently that they're actually bleeding around my knuckles. On HCG I can't use lotions with oil in them because they stop the HCG from working. I learned that the hard way on Round 1 when I forgot and used some several times the last week of the diet and didn't lose a pound. It didn't occur to me until after the diet. I called Dr. D's office and they suggested organic products like By Valenti Organics' almonds and coconut body butter. I went to my local health food store tonight in search of it and found something similar but wanted to compare the ingredients so now that I've done that, I'll go back tomorrow and pick some up.

So what's living on 500 calories per day like? This time around, it's painless. I can find something to eat no matter where I go. One of my friends is a great cook and made chicken pot pie to die for when four of us went over to celebrate one's birthday. Once the host promised me a doggie bag to freeze for when I can eat it, I was fine eating the asparagus she fixed for me and the sliced steak I brought with me, left over from lunch the day before at Greystone Grill. Most days I have to remind myself to eat all of the eight things I am allotted each day. Now, at midnight, for instance, I still have a fruit to eat before I go to bed. Tonight it will be an apple.

But I do react almost carnally to some of the foods I normally love when commercials for them come on TV. It's mental, not physical. But then that's been the challenge all along, my head.

I still have three and a half weeks to go of the low-calorie diet plus HCG, and then another three weeks of no sugars, starches or grains. But at least I will be able to eat eggs, cheese, more than one vegetable at a time and a whole steak or piece of chicken at one sitting. That will be bliss! So, I can certainly hang in for three more weeks of this strict part of the diet. It already is well worth it! Stay tuned.

Dunkin' Donuts, Baskin-Robbins, Pizza Hut -- Strange Way to Start a Diet

Tomorrow I start Round 2 of the Beta HCG Diet. For a week, I've been planning for my first two days on the diet. I've been plotting my ice cream (Baskin-Robbins pralines 'n cream), my donuts (Dunkin' Donuts), my pizza (Pizza Hut because it's closest), my sausage for my omelettes (Jimmy Dean maple flavored), my cookies (Pepperidge Farm soft peanut butter) and my chocolate (Milky Way fun size).

On a diet???

Let me back up a minute....

I finished Round 1 the day before Thanksgiving. I couldn't eat any starches, sugars or grains for three weeks after that and have been eating whatever I want ever since then. And, amazingly enough, I weigh exactly what I weighed after 40 days on the diet during Round 1. Which is to say that I'm down 25 pounds from what I weighed in September. Fabulous!

Tomorrow morning I start applying the HCG cream once a day. After enough of it gets into my bloodstream, after three applications, I'll be living on a mere 500 calories a day for the next 40 days. I will eat from a very limited list of four kinds of foods: proteins, vegetables, fruits and a tiny bit of starch in the form of Melba Toast. But I won't be hungry. The HCG releases the fat from abnormal fat cells (the fat we don't want) to make up the difference. So the diet calls for loading up on fats for the first two days. Gorging, in fact. Exactly why is complicated so I won't go into it. (For the entire explanation of the diet in the words of the man who originated it, click here.) I just know from Round 1 that it all works.

During Round 1, I stuck to the letter of the diet for the entire nine weeks -- six weeks of "diet" and three weeks of anything except sugars, starches and grains. The regime reset my "set point," the weight I stay at more or less no matter what. My default weight, if you will. And it worked for me. So I'm back for Round 2 to lose another (hopefully) 20-25 pounds. All under the watchful eye of Dr. Pieter DeWet, a holistic physician.

Since it's supposed to be icy-rainy tonight into tomorrow, I loaded up tonight. It's all in the kitchen waiting for me. I've sampled a few of the items tonight, just a few bites, but am saving the mandated "gorging" for tomorrow and Tuesday. I'm looking forward to being able to eat everything in sight, but I know from Round 1 that by the second day, I'll be oh so ready to end that.

What I'm really looking forward to is being back on the program, feeling healthy and losing more of the way-too-many pounds I've managed to gain over the last two decades. I'll blog about it all as I progress, as I did the first time around. Cross your fingers for me!