Living Below the Line

A friend told me about "the line." Our activities are either "above the line" or "below the line," she told me. What we do below the line are things that get us back up to "even" or back to normalcy. What we do above the line are things that advance us in our careers, our personal lives, our free time interests, etc. Ideally, we live most of our lives above the line.

We do have to make space for below-the-line stuff. Things that either keep us out of trouble or get us in a position to do above-the-line things to make progress. The usual little things like filling the car with gas, making the bed and doing the dishes, taking a shower, going to the bathroom, changing a lightbulb, etc. More significant things like paying our bills, figuring and paying our taxes, recovering after a broken bone or serious illness or even the flu, replacing a tree that died, getting the brakes fixed in our car, and so forth.

Some below-the-line things take more time and energy. My hip replacement was a long process, first of letting the pain limit my activities, then of going through the operation and the weeks-long (really months-long) recovery (despite that my friends said I'd be all brand new in just a few weeks). Losing a job and looking for new work definitely is a below-the-line undertaking.

Mostly, lately I feel like I'm living my life below the line. There's always something that interrupts or interferes with what I *want* to do or need to do or think I should be doing. I've gotta go to the dentist or be home when the exterminator comes or get my windshield wipers fixed. And those are just the normal things! Then there are the urgent things to take care of, like when you get the flu or your car battery dies. And then inevitably there are big below-the-line things, like a serious illness or death of a relative or even unpacking after a move. The move may be an above-the-line thing that moves your life forward but the unpacking is just a gotta-do before you can really move forward. (Or, as in my case, my below-the-line collection of boxes that I have yet to unpack after moving two years ago are cluttering up my bonus room. They haunt me every day, but I keep not getting around to them.)

Long ago I learned to just emotionally budget for below-the-line stuff. Budget for interruptions. Budget for things that go bad or wrong and have to be addressed. I must have a budget limit, though, because I've noticed that I am fine with a certain amount of these things, but at some point, even if they are small things, I get annoyed and discouraged, wondering if I'll ever get free of the gotta-dos and get back to the wanna-dos.

I've come to realize that the whole concept of "below-the-line" is deceptive. It's real enough to be a PITA (pain in the ass) when we have to deal with stuff in that category. But the idea that it slows us down or stops us from advancing is really bogus. Everything we do contributes to our history, our story, our very being. Everything we tackle and overcome (or even just finish) adds to our tool box of coping mechanisms and strengths, as well as our empathy. Those attributes are essential for moving forward. So, below-the-line stuff is as good for us as above-the-line stuff, and leads to a bigger, better life as well.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. At least it's what I'm telling myself as my to-do list for today is mostly made up of taking care of things I'm way behind on, making calls I don't want to make to resolve things I thought were handled the first time around and just plain catching up on dreary obligations. Now off to get my windshield wiper mechanism fixed...another below-the-line gotta-do. But at least I can hopefully do some above-the-line writing while I wait.