A New Pair of Glasses...Sort Of

Yesterday I got new contact lenses. I've worn contacts since 9th grade, and they were very different then. Kind of like rocks. They hurt and my eyes ached if I had my eyes closed for even a couple of minutes. No way could I even take a nap with them in. My eyes were sore a lot. Contacts were "hard," not "rigid" as they are now.

When I would get new lenses back then, my eyes would hurt after a few hours and I'd have to take them out. Since I can't even see the big E on the eye chart, being without them was challenging. Forget driving, watching tv or nearly anything when the room I was in was fuzzy, let alone doing anything that required focus. Those were difficult times.

People would say you had to really want contacts to wear them back then. For me, it wasn't so much a vanity thing as a practical thing. Contacts didn't fog up like glasses did. I lived in Colorado then and they fogged up a lot in the winter. But the main reason I preferred contacts was...I could SEE in a way that I couldn't with glasses. Clearly, even with my peripheral vision.

Over the years, contacts have evolved, thank God! I still wear "rigid," gas-permeable lenses, the modern-day version of hard contacts. I have so much astigmatism that soft lenses didn't work for me, not to mention that I had a helluva time getting them in and out of my eyes. I assume soft lenses have gotten better, too, over the years, but my eye doctors tell me that while they're getting better able to correct astigmatism, they still wouldn't be enough for me. But the ones I wear now are comfortable, rarely hurt, my eyes almost never ache (though they do get tired after wearing them for 20 hours), and I can comfortably take lengthy naps with them in.

So I now have to adjust to new lenses that fit differently. Something about a "bulging cornea" that has a long name I don't remember. For years they treated it with rigid contact lenses that in essence pushed against the cornea. Now my new eye doctor in Arizona says I'm starting to get some scarring and says the new way of treating it is to not push against the cornea with contacts. Losing my sight would be unimaginable, frankly (and I admire the people who can handle it well), so I'll do whatever they say will be good for my sight. So here I am with new, differently fitting contacts.

As I write this, I don't have them in. My eyes didn't exactly hurt last night after wearing them for less than seven hours, but they were on the verge of hurting, if that makes sense. So I don't want to wear them for my usual all-day time today. I have to squint to see the writing on my laptop computer screen (or hold it up to five inches in front of my face), I have to squint to read my nearby desk clock, TV is a colorful blur, and I wouldn't dream of stepping outside my front door. It's extremely annoying and after awhile I usually get a headache from the strain.

...which brings me to...gratitude.

I am so grateful when I take the time to reflect on everything I've got that I assume will be there every day, everything I take for granted will be there. I can breathe on my own. I can walk. I can talk. My fingers work. I can see (usually well, thanks to my contacts). The power is on. My house is standing and dry and secure. My car and possessions are safe. My phone works. I have food in the refrigerator. I am blessed.

Many times I have said that if we all threw our problems in a big pile, I'd knock anyone over to get to my own. I'm used to them, for one thing. And, I've got nothing to worry about compared to so many people.

So as I sit here with my fuzzy vision, I am thanking my lucky stars -- and God -- for my blessings. For one day, I vow not to lust after anything I don't already have. Except maybe for the courage to change the things I can.