Living Alone? You're Not Alone!

On today's CBS Sunday Morning, a segment aired on the phenomenon of 32.7 million Americans who are now living alone, up from just 4 million in 1950. New York University sociologist Eric Klinenberg called it "the greatest social change of the last 60 years that we have failed to name or identify."

Journalist Susan Spencer (from 48 Hours) anchored the piece, which ran about six and a half minutes. It started out with Greta Garbo in the 1932 movie Grand Hotel exclaiming, "I want to be alone. I just want to be alone." Spencer cites statistics: Of the nearly 33 million loners, nearly half (48.3%) are between ages 35 and 64, and a third (34.5%) are 65 and over. Women outnumber men 17.2 million to 13.9 million. Women do pretty well living alone, says Klinenberg, "...whereas for men, it's much more likely that they'll wind up feeling lonely or unhappy or isolated." (I can almost hear the women out there rolling their eyes and saying, "Oh yeah, big surprise.)

Well, I am one of the roughly one in seven Americans who live alone. And I love it!

One man in the piece does not love it. "There's nothing worse than being sick by yourself," lamented 40-year-old New Yorker Jeff Ragsdale. "You're lying in bed watching the world go by and wondering, you know, how did I get so alone." He actually put up flyers with his phone number on it inviting people to call "Jeff, one lonely guy." He claims to have received "close to 70,000" calls from all around the world. Must be fascinating, talking to all of those people. (Much as I love peeling the onion with people to uncover what's underneath, after a short time that would have me running around in small circles, wildly waving my arms and screaming.) And, how is he making money since that's virtually a full-time job? Well, he's writing a book, so there you have it.

I live in an age-55-plus active adult apartment building, and I'd guess that between one third and one half of the residents here live alone. Not surprising. What did surprise me were stats that roughly 40% of households in San Francisco, Seattle, Denver and Cleveland are made up of just one person. And in Manhattan, single-person households comprise nearly half of all households. Wow! I lived in Manhattan for 12 years, worked there for 16, and that even surprised me.

So what's so great about living alone? Klinenberg calls single household occupants "indispensable" because "they go out in the world like no one else does." Yep. I go to many places by myself that many people would be embarrassed or reticent to tackle alone. Restaurants. Movies. Concerts. Trips (I pay extra for my own hotel room or ship cabin, even when I'm traveling with a group.) Gatherings of all kinds where couples are the predominant attendees. No problem. I just take a book or my Kindle with me when appropriate (and sometimes when it isn't) and I'm good.

It does drive me a little nuts when the host/hostess at a restaurant greets me with "Just one?" But I also regluarly hear that when it is "Just two?" Sometimes, it's also "Just three?" and even, believe it or not, "Just four?" I think it's a rude question no matter what.

I know I'm not "normal," loving living alone. I revel in my independence. I've always lived near all of the highways, airports and train stations that can get me away. I delight in making my own decisions, deciding my own schedules, knowing that I alone am responsible for so many things. I love being able to do what I want whenever I want, including making the big life-changing decisions. I can change my life completely in 30 days if I choose to, with no one else to have to convince, argue with or betray. I don't have to ask anyone if I can do something, deceive or lie to anyone about what I spend, or work around their schedules on a regular basis. I never have to compromise unless I want to. I am a free spirit and I can live that way!

Children are another subject entirely, one I'm not going to tackle here. I have no children living at home, or anywhere else for that matter. I have a grown step-daughter but we haven't lived together for decades.

Yes, sometimes I envy some of my friends who have a man to take care of them, financially support them and fix things around the house. But I also have friends who are the main (if not the sole) breadwinner, who are the ones to fix things and who have to take care of their ailing or just grumpy husband. I like my life and I hope they like theirs. I just know that if we all threw our troubles into a pile, I don't know about them but I'd fight anyone to retrieve my own.

Meanwhile, I get to decide for myself how I want to spend my Sunday. The possibilities are endless....

Keeping It Off Ain't So Easy

Two months ago, I'd lost 50 pounds since October 2011. Best thing I've done for myself in years! The Beta HCG Diet works well for me -- I lost 25 pounds in Round 1 and another 25 pounds in Round 2. (See previous posts.) Keeping the first 25 off was easy-peasy. I ate what I wanted and kept off the pounds, including after some of my not-so-great, late-night sugar pig-outs (or at least piglet-outs). The second 25 are lurking like the monster in the closet, watching and waiting for me to fall backward, deep into the pit of my bad habits.

I'm a carb-aholic. If sugar is one of the first ingredients, I'm in! Maybe food-aholic is a better term. I've been known to keep snarfing down at one time more, uh, fill in the blank: cookies, ice cream, popcorn, cereal, french fries, fried chicken, pasta...than would be normal for any three meals. I learned early on after losing my second 25 pounds that I can't do that anymore. The penalties are swift and severe. I gained back 9 pounds.

The cardinal rule in the Beta HCG Diet (and many diets, probably) is to weigh yourself every morning at the same time and address the weight gain immediately after gaining two pounds. I didn't do that for about a week and I ate like a human vacuum cleaner. So I blew it. And then I got scared. I just cannot and will not go back to the morbidly obese, miserable person who needed a crane to lift her up off of the couch. But what to do?

Along came ViSalus. A good friend called me and sold me on the idea of going with supposedly delicious, nutritious shakes as meal substitutes. I've not found shakes to be particularly flavorful or satisfying in the past (other than Atkins shakes, which I used to have for breakfast, which I liked a lot but that was years ago), so I was skeptical. But he's a persuasive guy so I said yes. I not only said yes to trying them but also to getting into the business, which is "network marketing," aka multi-level marketing, which I've never been fond of. But I did it and waited for my shakes to arrive.

A few days later, my starter box arrived and I couldn't wait to try the shakes that supposedly taste like cake mix. They actually are good! Very good, in fact. They don't have that grainy texture - they're smooth and creamy and yummy. And I find that the shakes keep me unhungry for four or five hours most of the time, though I still have to fight my I'm-deprived mindset that most addicts have. Yes, I am an addict. A carb addict. Adding fruit (bananas, blueberries, strawberries, etc.) or other flavors (lots of recipes online) helps that mindset and gives me the variety that keeps me engaged.

So far I'm very sloppy when it comes to discipline in having the shakes every day. I had one for lunch today and one for lunch yesterday but it was a few days for the one before that. But regardless of my haphazard program, I've lost 5 of the 9 pounds I'd gained back. Yahoo!

I checked with my holistic M.D., Dr. Pieter DeWet, and he endorses the shakes (and just got into the business end of it himself, even). So I will use the ViSalus shakes to lose the last 4 pounds I've recently gained back, and then I want to go back on Beta HCG in July to lose the next 20 or 25 pounds. That takes about 6 weeks total. I'm quite excited that he said he thinks we can use the ViSalus shakes as meal replacements while taking the HCG, at least some of the time. It'll take some of the brutality out of the HCG regime.

Then I want to go back on the ViSalus shakes once a day to maintain the weight loss. Everyone does things differently and good for them. I think this will work for me. Ironically, to actually lose the weight, it's easier for me to go on the very drastic Beta HCG Diet than it is to go the shakes-and-moderation route. I just don't do "moderation" well at all. But I think I can be less piggy with the shakes, as long as I weigh myself every day and don't let myself gain back more than 2 pounds. (A friend who tried the shake today and liked it also intends to have the shakes for maintenance, which is great since she only wants to lose about 5 pounds. Ah, envy!)

All programs suggest - strongly suggest - combining exercise with eating healthful food. Ooooh, I've avoided that like I'd get sick if I went that route. But tomorrow I'm going to meet a friend at a gym who will help me figure out a regime of cardio and strength training and then it will be up to me to stick with it. Wish me luck!

Changing my lazy, piggy habits is harder than anything I've done in a long time. Years. Decades. But I don't want to end up dead or debilitated after a stroke or heart attack, so exercise and eating better are mandatory at this point. (You can just hear my enthusiasm, can't you?)

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I just have to get my focus off of myself and on to something productive or on doing something good for someone else and this hunger/addiction/resistance stuff will diminish. And I have to...just start! So now it's nearly 1:00 a.m. and I have to get up at 7:00 to get to the gym, so here I go. Stay tuned.

P.S. I am not the pushy type or the hustling type and I don't do cheerleader-level enthusiasm convincingly. But if you'd like to try the ViSalus shakes and look into the ViSalus 90-Day Challenge, let me know or click here. Hey, why not?!