Living Alone? You're Not Alone!

On today's CBS Sunday Morning, a segment aired on the phenomenon of 32.7 million Americans who are now living alone, up from just 4 million in 1950. New York University sociologist Eric Klinenberg called it "the greatest social change of the last 60 years that we have failed to name or identify."

Journalist Susan Spencer (from 48 Hours) anchored the piece, which ran about six and a half minutes. It started out with Greta Garbo in the 1932 movie Grand Hotel exclaiming, "I want to be alone. I just want to be alone." Spencer cites statistics: Of the nearly 33 million loners, nearly half (48.3%) are between ages 35 and 64, and a third (34.5%) are 65 and over. Women outnumber men 17.2 million to 13.9 million. Women do pretty well living alone, says Klinenberg, "...whereas for men, it's much more likely that they'll wind up feeling lonely or unhappy or isolated." (I can almost hear the women out there rolling their eyes and saying, "Oh yeah, big surprise.)

Well, I am one of the roughly one in seven Americans who live alone. And I love it!

One man in the piece does not love it. "There's nothing worse than being sick by yourself," lamented 40-year-old New Yorker Jeff Ragsdale. "You're lying in bed watching the world go by and wondering, you know, how did I get so alone." He actually put up flyers with his phone number on it inviting people to call "Jeff, one lonely guy." He claims to have received "close to 70,000" calls from all around the world. Must be fascinating, talking to all of those people. (Much as I love peeling the onion with people to uncover what's underneath, after a short time that would have me running around in small circles, wildly waving my arms and screaming.) And, how is he making money since that's virtually a full-time job? Well, he's writing a book, so there you have it.

I live in an age-55-plus active adult apartment building, and I'd guess that between one third and one half of the residents here live alone. Not surprising. What did surprise me were stats that roughly 40% of households in San Francisco, Seattle, Denver and Cleveland are made up of just one person. And in Manhattan, single-person households comprise nearly half of all households. Wow! I lived in Manhattan for 12 years, worked there for 16, and that even surprised me.

So what's so great about living alone? Klinenberg calls single household occupants "indispensable" because "they go out in the world like no one else does." Yep. I go to many places by myself that many people would be embarrassed or reticent to tackle alone. Restaurants. Movies. Concerts. Trips (I pay extra for my own hotel room or ship cabin, even when I'm traveling with a group.) Gatherings of all kinds where couples are the predominant attendees. No problem. I just take a book or my Kindle with me when appropriate (and sometimes when it isn't) and I'm good.

It does drive me a little nuts when the host/hostess at a restaurant greets me with "Just one?" But I also regluarly hear that when it is "Just two?" Sometimes, it's also "Just three?" and even, believe it or not, "Just four?" I think it's a rude question no matter what.

I know I'm not "normal," loving living alone. I revel in my independence. I've always lived near all of the highways, airports and train stations that can get me away. I delight in making my own decisions, deciding my own schedules, knowing that I alone am responsible for so many things. I love being able to do what I want whenever I want, including making the big life-changing decisions. I can change my life completely in 30 days if I choose to, with no one else to have to convince, argue with or betray. I don't have to ask anyone if I can do something, deceive or lie to anyone about what I spend, or work around their schedules on a regular basis. I never have to compromise unless I want to. I am a free spirit and I can live that way!

Children are another subject entirely, one I'm not going to tackle here. I have no children living at home, or anywhere else for that matter. I have a grown step-daughter but we haven't lived together for decades.

Yes, sometimes I envy some of my friends who have a man to take care of them, financially support them and fix things around the house. But I also have friends who are the main (if not the sole) breadwinner, who are the ones to fix things and who have to take care of their ailing or just grumpy husband. I like my life and I hope they like theirs. I just know that if we all threw our troubles into a pile, I don't know about them but I'd fight anyone to retrieve my own.

Meanwhile, I get to decide for myself how I want to spend my Sunday. The possibilities are endless....