Cell Phones in the Loo

This is the last line in a Nov. 15 article in Advertising Age: "Studies show that the highest percentage of consumers (upward of 40%, depending on the study) use their mobile phone in the bathroom."

Now where did your mind go when you read that? Did you unwillingly visualize someone sitting on the throne with their cell phone plastered on their ear? Did your face redden as you felt outed? Did you feel vindicated because you're not the only one? Did you cringe as you pictured your friends talking to you while taking care of business?

My friends who have gone to the loo while talking to me fall into two categories: those who try to act like they're not and those who just openly do it. I'm not sure which I prefer. Generally, I find that I know what they're doing even if they don't acknowledge it. I'm a reporter, after all, trained to listen for the slighted aberration from normalcy in a phone conversation. So a sudden echo signals a move to a small, enclosed space. A steady stream of faucet water makes me suspicious of what it might be covering up. A small trickle, even when covered up with conversation, is pretty clearly what it sounds like. And let's not even get into the other sounds that could, ah, erupt. Another giveaway is the mute button. When all background ambient noise ceases momentarily, and the person pretends to carry on an intermittent, normal conversation, I play along and ignore it. I think I almost prefer when my friends just say, "It's either this or I'll have to call you back."

Have I done the talk-in-the-loo routine? I plead the fifth. I'll just say that sometimes an hour-long conversation, or an ill-timed 10-minute chat, is tough to break away from, because, I don't know about you, but some of my friends are talk-to-em-now-or-it'll-be-another-month type of people. Or, the conversation is, for whatever reason, enthralling, or they're pouring their heart out to you and it is unthinkable to interrupt them and say, "Gotta go, sorry."

But...I take my phone into the bathroom with me when I'm drying my hair, taking a shower, cleaning the sink, creaming my face, putting on my mascara and a myriad of other things. I'm sure that's the kind of thing they meant when they said people use their mobile phone in the bathroom. Aren't you?