How Private Should Sex Lives Be?

Isn't sex a great topic for a blog? I'm too chicken (and smart?) to talk about my sex life or lack thereof in this blog or any other, but I find a certain lawsuit for $20 million fascinating. A former U.S. Senate aide, Jessica Cutler (who wasn't former at the time) divulged lurid details on her "Washingtonienne" blog of her sexual encounters with another Senate aide, Robert Steinbuch, which quickly got linked to another blog, Wonkette, and later became fodder for a book (The Washingtonienne: A Novel). Steinbuch is suing Cutler for $20 million. Whew!

It's beyond me why anyone, especially someone who works in a forum as scrutinized as the U.S. Senate, would put any details of their sex life on the Web. It's even more beyond me why anyone would betray a lover, former or current, by revealing their, shall we say, idiosyncracies. "Sex in the City" is one thing -- I loved the one about Carrie farting for the first time with Mr. Big -- but real life is quite another. To do that is disrespectful, vengeful and/or stupid. Once that stuff is out there, there's no taking it back. Not only is it a total betrayal, whether the relationship ended badly or not, it also usually damages the reputation of the accuser, er, revealer, at least as much as the accusee or revealee.

I've been a journaler since age 10. I have been known to write in some detail about all aspects of my life, since my journal is my therapy more than it is a chronicle of my life or even a commentary on life in general. And keeping journals help me to think my life is real and enables me to revisit events to see if I remember them as I experienced them at the time. It's amazing what the mind does to an event over time. Much of what I write is mundane, repetitive and hardly good writing. But it's meant for me and me only.

If I knew today that I would be dead tomorrow, I'd burn my journals. Not knowing that (and hoping not), I am willing them to someone I trust with the agreement that they will not be released to anyone for any purpose until 25 years after my death. By then, the innocent and guilty parties (some of whom are disguised) will either be dead or beyond caring. Hopefully, anyway. If I live 25 more years, that will certainly be true. It's not all that interesting anyway, probably only to me.

Meanwhile, I wonder what Cutler was thinking and if she regrets going public with her exploits. I bought her book awhile ago on a whim but haven't read it. Maybe I will dig it up now and at least scan it. But I ain't puttin' my own adventures on any blog any time soon. (Note to Mr. X: You're welcome.)