HCG Diet - 'Gorge' Days Finito!

Thank heavens these two days of "gorging" are done. I've had my last heavily buttered piece of toast. My last creme-filled donut. My last bacon cheeseburger. My last french fries. My last Baskin-Robbins Pralines 'n Cream -- that one I may actually miss. But for right now, I am relieved that these two days are done. I am going to bed now and when I wake up, I will be on a whole new program. More about that tomorrow.

Overeating, while not easy the last two days, has been familiar. Just not to this degree. I am used to eating sugary foods, fatty foods, lots of proteins AND carbs. I am used to eating a lot. I didn't get to this point "because I grew older and it doesn't come off as fast as it used to." I can't blame it on menopause. I can't blame it on anything. I earned every pound. I love food and I have used food for comfort, for escape from discomfort and for celebration -- and actually for anything in between. I have turned to food much like an alcoholic turns to alcohol, i.e., when a non-addict wouldn't think of eating, it's the first thing I think of to handle other elements of my life besides nourishment to live. I know I'm not alone in that....

So now I step into change. I need to change. The problem is that I don't want to go through the act of changing. I just want to wake up...changed! Doesn't work that way, I know. I'll be going through each step, regardless of what my attitude is.

I actually am feeling all kinds of things now. I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm dreading it. I'm thrilled by it. Most of all, I'm determined. I figure I can do anything for 40 days -- one day at a time, one hour at a time, one meal at a time, one moment at a time, if necessary.

Last time I lost a couple of dozen pounds, I remember going through the phenomenon of re-experiencing the memories and emotions of what was going on when I gained those pounds. It was quite eerie and unsettling. I wonder if anyone else has experienced that. Well, this time I will be losing a lot more than a couple of dozen pounds -- do you hear that determination? -- and I could be in for quite a roller coaster ride. But that's okay; I have my seat belt fastened.